Envy versus Jealousy

Flower essence support for processing envy and jealousy

What is the difference between envy and jealousy? They are closely related feelings that are sometimes felt together, but not always.

Envy is a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck. Envy is about wanting something that you see in another person and that you rightly or wrongly believe that you do not have in yourself. It often involves feelings of dislike for the person who has what you want.

Jealousy is feeling that results in showing suspicion of someone’s unfaithfulness. It also arises when you feel fiercely protective or vigilant of your rights or possessions. Jealousy involves a feeling about something that you already have and you feel threatened that someone is trying to take it away. It often arises when you feel a threat of betrayal.

When it is about your relationship with another person, envy involves two people, whereas jealousy involves three. If you feel jealous about someone, you may also feel envy if that person has qualities or things that you feel are lacking in yourself.

Neither envy or jealousy are feelings that can be labeled as bad. You can use your awareness of either feeling to show you something about yourself that you want. If you are envious of someone’s qualities, for instance, how can you find those qualities inside yourself or develop them? How can you identity the block or limiting beliefs that are preventing you from developing or recognizing those qualities in yourself?

If you feel discontented, the feeling shows you that there is something you can develop inside you. You might ask yourself what would make you feel contented with yourself?

In terms of jealousy of a person, why are you afraid of losing them? If you have a commitment with a person, do you fear that he or she will break that promise? Has the person shown that they have done so in the past? Have you been betrayed by others and you feel it is the fate of all of your relationships?

Flower Essences for Envy and Jealousy

Feeling Your Feeling Formula — Once you feel your feeling, this flower essence helps you take something good from them. By feeling your feeling you will be able to see what resides under the feeling. It can help you have the experience you need to find what you want inside yourself.

For Envy

Inmortal — At the root of envy is often non-acceptance of your feelings and a deep lack of self-esteem. Inmortal flower essence helps you surrender these feelings to a higher force that can help you find your own innate beauty and inner self.

Inmortal can reach the core of self-esteem issues. It is the remedy for deep feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Just as Inmortal’s roots can grow under heavy rocks, so can its flower essence bring us out from under the heaviness of pain and despair. Many different life situations can leave you feeling like a victim, as if you just cannot help yourself.

Spineless Prickly Pear Cactus — This flower essence is helpful for resolving the feeling that you lack something that you need to handle life and the situations that arise. The sense of lacking something is rooted in a feeling of vulnerability, which feels like a weakness.

Instead of fearing your vulnerability, Spineless Prickly Pear Cactus helps you know it as a powerful force when you allow yourself to be shaped by it. When you are vulnerable, you are able to be shaped by the Creator. Simply being who you are in any moment is enough.

For more flower essences for envy see The Core Issue: Envy.

For Jealousy

Purple Mat — Sometimes the fear that your essential needs or feelings will be rejected or devalued is at the root of jealousy. As a result you might spend a lot of time plotting how to protect yourself, even though in reality you are not being threatened by those outside you.

If you are feeling devalued by another, or if you are afraid that you might be, this essence can help you search within to find how you devalue yourself. Your acts of manipulation are indications that you are not honoring yourself enough to trust that your needs and feelings will be respected. Purple Mat shows you how you place conditions or limitations on your lovability or acceptability.

The essence helps you be more open and direct in your relationships, and helps you trust that you can be true to yourself.

Syrian Rue – Trust is an essential element of successful relationships. If you have been lied to and had your trust broken by someone in the past, this flower essence can help you heal from betrayal.

If you tend to quickly accuse others of lying to you without having any evidence that they have, Syrian Rue can help you learn that there are many people who do not lie to avoid consequences of their actions.

But perhaps most importantly, the essence can help you look inside yourself to see if you have been lying to yourself about the relationship and allowing yourself to ignore red flags. The essence can help you look inside yourself and find the courage to trust in your own truth.

Or, if you have been accused of lying and it is not true, Syrian Rue can help you stand in your truth.

Selecting the Most Appropriate Flower Essences

Not every flower essence mentioned above will be appropriate for every person’s specific needs. Different people have different issues. Usually, careful self-examination can clearly show you which of the above flower essences are most appropriate for you.

Though you can use more than one flower essence together, you probably will not need to use all of the ones mentioned here. After contemplating your relationship to this issue, select the flower essences that apply for you, or use an intuitive method to select among them. (For more information on how to do this, see The Art & Technique of Using Flower Essences.) A general guideline is to use four drops at a time, four times a day, in water. However, it is fine to follow your intuition and use them as often as you like. Most people find that they tend to use them more often in the beginning and less often towards the end of the cycle. Unless otherwise indicated, a cycle is usually two to four weeks. [more]

For information on how to clearly evaluate the effects of the essences you have used, see The Art & Technique of Using Flower Essences.