Exploring and resolving the root of insecurity
with flower essences.
- lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt
- a state of being uneasy, anxious, uncertain, fearful
On what do you depend for your sense of security? Do you feel confident, assured, and at peace with yourself? When you encounter a new situation, do you have confidence that you can handle it? Do you have an underlying sense of stability or do you feel you are always on shifting sand?
There are a number of things that help us feel confident, even when we find ourselves in new situations that stretch us out of our normal mode of living. Feeling connected to a Higher Power, having a sense that we are able to deal with adversity, feeling safe, and knowing that everything we need is at hand are all elements of confidence.
Certainly possessions can help bring a sense of security. Yet material things come and go. Our net worth may change overnight and cannot always assure a feeling of security. What is at the root of feeling secure and confident?
There are many issues at the root of insecurity and many flower essences that can help us overcome them. Following I’ll explore many of these issues and discuss the flower essences that create harmony with them. You probably won’t need all of them. Contemplate the following issues and see if you can identify one or several of them that stand out the most for you. You can use one or a combination of several of the essences together.
Feeling That Something Is Missing
If you have the feeling that something is missing, that something you need is eluding you so that you can feel secure, Mexican Star is the essence to use. You may think that everyone else has something that you don’t. If you just had it, you wouldn’t feel so insecure.
This flower essence supports you in knowing that everything you need is right inside you. Mexican Star shows you that your inner strength is the foundation for survival. It can help you rest confidently into this expanded sense of yourself. It brings a sense of being integrated with the power of your inner self. A real sense of security and confidence emanate from this center.
Perhaps at the root of most issues of insecurity is an inability to know with our heart that we have been created in the image of our Creator and that we are perfect just as we are. Even when we make mistakes it is possible to feel remorse and know that mistakes are a path of discovery. This kind of self-acceptance is the gift of Inmortal flower essence.
This flower supports you in letting go of a negative self-image. It is for when we feel stuck, burdened and invested in victim consciousness. Inmortal brings the grace of transcendence, helping us give up our negativity to a higher force for transmutation. It clears the way for us to see that at our center, we are the light. The security of knowing ourselves as perfect gives us the opportunity to feel secure in our responses to life.
Need To Have Everything Under Control
Big Root Jatropha is an excellent flower essence that helps us feel safe enough to allow changes to happen without needing to control everything around us. It can open the way to allowing your inner child to bring you the excitement of discovery and the magic of wonder as you encounter new situations.
Those who had a dysfunctional childhood may have learned to try to control situations in order to feel safe and secure. Some of us had to grow up too quickly and leave the child behind. This flower essence can help you restore the wisdom and wonder of childhood so you can use your child’s open perspective to create interest and confidence. Big Root Jatropha can establish ease and confidence to assimilate new ideas and experiences.
Avoidance of Issues That Need To Be Confronted
One area that can create the feeling of insecurity is when we have to deal with issues that leave us feeling intimidated. Most of us tend to run the opposite direction or use a strategy that allows us to avoid the situation or issue. We all have self-protective conditioning that helps us stay in denial or avoidance.
Bouvardia flower essence is a gentle but firm support for fortifying your determination and will to consciously confront life directly. It redirects your avoidance patterns to ones of positive response and action. The essence helps us access the inner confidence to calmly and clearly deal with emotional issues with thought that is unclouded by emotional reactivity. This is an empowering essence that helps you face and resolve anything. By facing what you least wanted to, you find confidence to handle almost anything in life.
Having A Fatalistic Attitude
For some of us, insecurity stems from having a fatalistic attitude towards life. We feel that the world and our environment are unsupportive or even hostile. Crownbeard can help us change this defeatist pattern. It brings the experience that the universe supports you abundantly with what you need.
I have found that many folks have a fear or terror of speaking out that is linked to a sense that in a past life they were tormented or tortured for doing so. Crownbeard has shown to resolve at a deep level these types of fears and insecurities so that you can live more in the present from the reality of what you life now holds. This essence enhances your ability to express your needs with confidence so you can relate to others in a harmonious way.
Fear Of Erratic Behaviour Or Powerful Emotions
Mala Mujer supports us when we feel insecure because we are afraid of our own, or someone else’s, erratic behavior. This is a patterns that many women experience when they are pre-menstrual or during other times of great hormonal fluctuation, such as at puberty, after childbirth, or during menopause.
Often when we feel overwhelmed, we respond by having a tough or bitchy outer expression that covers up a feeling-filled, vulnerable inner world. You want everyone to go away, and “Leave me alone!” You may not be able to take time out and give yourself the down-time you need, so you lash out to get space.
Mala Mujer helps us transform this negativity into a more uplifting expression, bringing a more honest quality to your communication. It supports you in releasing emotional tension so you are freed up from fear and insecurity and can feel adequate to the task at hand.
Sometimes insecurity results from feeling victimized by your powerful emotions. Haven’t you had a sudden eruption of an emotion that seems to come out of nowhere? It is the type of emotional reaction that is out of proportion to a situation. Ocotillo is the flower essence to use to develop confidence and security in your emotional reactions.
This flower essence can bring us insight into and acceptance of our emotions, especially when they originate from unprocessed situations from the past. It brings us a sense of security and self-acceptance, knowing we will be able to deal with our powerful feelings with awareness so we can respond, rather than react to situations that provoke us.
Feeling That You Can’t Take Care Of Yourself
For some people, insecurity stems from having felt abruptly disconnected from mothering support, resulting in the feeling that you really can’t take care of or nurture yourself. Milky Nipple Cactus is the essence that harmonizes this issue of insecurity. Also known as the weaning essence, Milky Nipple Cactus supports you in finding autonomy.
This essence is often indicated for those who tend to talk a lot or dominate conversations. All the talking and attempts to focus attention on self are covering up a deep feeling of insecurity. So much talking is a way of staying in your head and not dealing with emotionally charged issues because you are insecure in your ability to do so.
Milky Nipple Cactus is calming. It brings the knowing that you have everything within you to guide you to the proper solutions to self-nurturance.
Mariposa Lily is the essence of self-mothering and connectedness with others. This essence is for those who separate themselves from others and feel unable to be receptive to human love. This essence can bring joy and freedom through knowing that you carry the Mother inside you. Through Her love, you can experience a meaningful connection to others and open the channel to receiving love from others.
Afraid of Change and the Unknown
You may have found a reasonable sense of security in your life and are relatively self-confident. But what happens when a big change or transition happens? When something familiar like a job or a relationship ends, it’s amazing how disorienting it can be. When you move or a loved one dies your sense of security may change dramatically.
Sacred Datura is a blessing during such times. It supports us both in letting go of whatever is necessary and in mastering the “limbo state that a transition or transformational process brings. Once we let go of something there is usually a time during which the old is gone and the new is not yet born. Some of our most intense feelings of insecurity may rise during this time. Sacred Datura flower essence supports us in learning to place our sense of security in a Higher Power. It teaches us faith and the power that comes through trusting the universe to bring us what we really need. This flower essence can help anchor the lessons of faith and trust so that the become a permanent part of our consciousness.
Sometimes you may live with terror and doubt about your ability to deal with adversity. Life is filled with experiences and some of them are intense indeed. How secure do you feel in your ability to deal with adversity? Violet Soldier is a flower essence that helps you find where courage and your warrior nature lies within you. This is the essence to use when you feel defeated or unable to find courage in face of difficult situations. It helps you find the will to overcome all obstacles and emerge victorious. It is the victory of the spirit over all conditions of external existence.
Difficulty in Adapting to New Situations
The way some of us deal with insecurity is by insisting on approaching all problems or challenges the same way. We feel that we can force things to come out right by using the methods that worked in past experiences.
Spineless Prickly Pear Cactus helps by showing us that whatever we have in front of us at any given moment is our tool, our way out of a problem or challenge.
“Often, the Spineless Prickly Pear person is a very capable person who keeps trying to handle new things in an old fashion. We are continually transforming, learning, and expanding into new ways of being. Yet often, instead of integrating the changes, we attempt to go on in our lives using our old methods. This essence helps us see that our capability is not because we know a certain way. Our real ability lies in being adaptable in each moment or situation. We can find appropriate ways to handle situations as they arise.”
We must allow ourselves to be vulnerable in our lives if we want to grow and evolve. It is only by allowing ourselves to be reshaped that we can move on to a new consciousness. Spineless Prickly Pear Cactus helps us be willing to be vulnerable because it supports us in finding a deep power within us, the power of adaptability.”
Feeling Unable To Be Spontaneous
Another root of insecurity can be based in our being so used to following the “rules” or being hyperconscious of being appropriate. Sometimes we need to break out and be a little wild so that we can re-claim our spontaneity. The Wild Woman Formula is exactly for that.
Those who are afraid of their own spontaneous nature or who feel insecure in their ability to handle sudden or unplanned events can also be helped with this flower essence.
The Wild Woman, is totally wild and free from any constraints or restrictions. She does what she wants, when she wants to. Instinctual in character, she dances in nature with no regard for anyone or anything else. She can be suddenly crudely funny or outrageously devilish. She springs up without warning, bringing the refreshment of spontaneity back into our lives. (…)
“She is the one who introduces us to deeply creative, courageous or other surprising parts of ourselves that supply a richness that we never imagined existed within us.”
When we break out of what is customary, we often uncover new ways of thinking and approaching a situation. This flower essence can help you be comfortable with your ability to handle things in a spontaneous manner. It frees you to feel capable in any kind of situation because you know you can rely on yourself to find unexpected solutions.
On the other hand, The Wild Woman Formula is also excellent if your wild nature is too pronounced.
The formula can also balance the tendency to be too much the Wild Woman: when we act with total disregard and disrespect for others around us or when we have no desire to be responsible for our actions.
“In her need to feel different or unique, sometimes the wild woman within us can exaggeratedly express herself. This is the other end of the spectrum. Instead of needing to express the wild woman, some of us need to tone her down.”
Selecting the Most Appropriate Flower Essences
Not every flower essence mentioned above will be appropriate for every person’s specific needs. Different people have different issues around their insecurity. The process itself of exploring and contemplating your relationship to insecurity is important. It is the foundation for successfully selecting the most beneficial flower essences. Usually, careful self-examination can clearly show you which of the above flower essences are most appropriate for the root of your insecurity.
Though you can use more than one flower essence together, you probably will not need to use all of the ones mentioned here. After contemplating your relationship to this issue, select the flower essences that apply for you, or use an intuitive method to select among them. (For more information on how to do this, see The Art & Technique of Using Flower Essences.) A general guideline is to use four drops at a time, four times a day, in water. However, it is fine to follow your intuition and use them as often as you like. Most people find that they tend to use them more often in the beginning and less often towards the end of the cycle. Unless otherwise indicated, a cycle is usually two to four weeks. [more]
For information on how to clearly evaluate the effects of the essences you have used, see The Art & Technique of Using Flower Essences.
Recommended Flower Essences
- Big Root Jatropha
- Brings the feeling of safety because you can allow your child-like nature to bring an open perspective and sense of surrender.
- Supports you in having the courage to face intimidating issues that you want to avoid.
- Harmonizes a fatalistic or defeatist attitude so you know that the universe supports you abundantly with what you need.
- Confidence from knowing that the Creator’s Creation is incomplete without me.
- Mariposa Lily
- Joy and freedom through being in touch with a sense of integrated self-mothering.
- Mala Mujer
- Experiencing security by having the confidence to deal with our own, or someone else’s erratic behavior.
- Mexican Star
- Insecurity because you feel that you need something that is elusive or missing in order to survive.
- Milky Nipple Cactus
- Helps you feel autonomous and secure in your ability to nurture yourself.
- Brings us a sense of security and confidence that we will be able to handle our powerful emotions, even when they are sudden and mysterious.
- Sacred Datura
- For the feeling of insecurity that results from being in a transition or a transformational experience when your sense of self or reality is challenged or changing.
- Spineless Prickly Pear Cactus
- For those who cover their insecurity by insisting on approaching all problems or challenges the same way; supports you to find strength in vulnerability.
- Violet Soldier
- If you are feeling defeated or insecure in your ability to survive adversity, this essence shows you where courage and the will to overcome all obstacles lie within you.
- Wild Woman Formula
- For those who feel insecure with their ability to handle sudden or spontaneous events, or for those who are afraid of their own spontaneous expression.