The Core Issue: Self-esteem

Exploring and resolving the root of self-esteem
with flower essences.

self-esteem

  1. a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect
  2. the foundation for developing fulfilling work, rewarding relationships, and personal power

Having self-esteem is essential if we are to create the lives we want to live. To have fulfilling work, a sense of personal power and supportive relationships, our sense of self is the foundation.

The word esteem means to honor and respect. When we honor and respect ourselves we naturally do so for others. If we want to be treated with respect, we must first fully respect and love ourselves.

How much we honor and respect ourselves is often at the core of many of our problems and even physical illnesses. If we look first to cultivating self-esteem we may find that many difficulties in life will melt away.

Those who have experienced any sort of abuse in their lives will find that developing self-esteem is the key to recovery and healing. It is possible, and essential, to release unrealistically negative perspectives that others may have about us. Yet if we were abused in any way, we assume that there is truth to the belittling effects of it. If we were treated as if we didn't have value as a person, we may have internalized this treatment and had it become our inner mantra. Fortunately, flower essences are an excellent harmonizing force for change.

Many desert flower essences address different aspects of self-esteem, perhaps because the desert seems to take us to the bottom line, or root, of where we need to focus our attention to heal and evolve. Following are a few of the essences that address self-esteem. You can use each one on its own or in combination to address your specific needs.

Recognizing Your Relationship to Self-esteem

What are some of the ways in which we can recognize our relationship to self-esteem? The answers to these questions can show you about how you perceive yourself.

  • When you make a mistake, what is the inner message you give yourself? Do you beat yourself up, tell yourself you are stupid or should have known better?
  • In a relationship, do you always defer to what the other person wants and ignore your own desires?
  • Do you tend to run away from challenges in life or in relationships?
  • If you have an intuitive impression about something, do you ignore it or discount its validity?
  • How do you view yourself, as a competent individual who is exploring life, or as an incapable person just getting by day to day?
  • Do you feel that others know what is best for you?
  • Do you really love yourself, exactly the way you are, even if you make mistakes?
  • Do you consider your own needs and wants and express them in your relationships?
  • Do others treat you with respect? If not, in what ways are you belittling yourself?
  • Do you fully honor your instincts and feelings, even if you are uncomfortable with them?

The Root of Self-esteem

Photo of Inmortal

Inmortal is the essence that deals with the root of self-esteem issues. It is for those who have deep, and usually hidden, feelings of unworthiness. Quite often these hidden feelings are covered up with bouts of depression.

The name of Inmortal, Spanish for immortal, reflects the plant's ability to regenerate annually from its root. Probably the deepest issue any of us face is our own sense of worthiness. At the root of many of our illnesses and difficulties lies a sense of unworthiness, unacceptability, or even self-hatred. Perhaps the most fundamental healing is finding love for ourselves at the root of our being.

Inmortal can reach the core of self-esteem issues. It is the remedy for deep feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Just as Inmortal's roots can grow under heavy rocks, so can its flower essence bring us out from under the heaviness of pain and despair. Many different life situations can leave us feeling like victims, as if we just cannot help ourselves."

The Alchemy of the Desert - Second Edition, page 176

Inmortal helps us wash away the darkness by giving up negative feelings to a higher force for transmutation. It washes us with the light of heart-felt appreciation for life and who we are. It helps us know at a deep inner level that our creator created us, just as we are, and that there is perfection even in our apparent imperfections.

Running Away from the Challenges of Life

Mexican Shell Flower is for those who run away from challenges in life. If you do not like to face situations or people who are difficult, this could be a key essence. When you feel unable to cope with challenges, you may hold yourself back from many things in life. Quite often you feel panic at the thought of being out in the world. This flower essence helps stimulate willingness and desire to actively confront life situations and people. It helps you find your inner warrior and come out of your shell.

Honoring Your Intuitive Nature

Queen of the Night flower essence is for honoring your intuitive and psychic impressions. This is excellent if you place a higher value on what you think, rather than allowing your intuition to be of equal worth. Very often our self-esteem is held hostage by what our minds think. We have internalized other's thoughts and interpretations of us as our own. By being able to honor our intuitive, inner self, we can often go beyond these inner thought patterns to see a reality of self that is more accurate. Queen of the Night is also appropriate to use if you focus too much on outer events and not enough on contemplation and inward looking.

The Way You See Yourself

Photo of Devil's Claw

Self-esteem has everything to do with the way in which you see yourself. When you have a sense of morality that guides you in taking actions of which you can be proud, you have a stronger sense of self-respect. Devil's Claw helps you develop your own natural sense of what is right and what is wrong. It can help you overcome patterns that you were taught as being correct but that do not really fit your inner nature.

Nothing Important to Give to the World

Evening Star helps those who lack self-appreciation. This is the essence for you if you feel that you have nothing important or special to give to the world. Feelings of inadequacy make you feel that you are dependent upon outer sources for self-validation and support. This flower essence helps bring confidence in your essential beauty and worth. It fosters a quiet surety from the root of your being.

Seeing Through the Projections of Others

Photo of White Desert Primrose

White Desert Primrose flower essence is vital for those who are overly influenced by ideals that others have created for them but do not fit their own unique soul purpose. If you experience self-doubt or confusion when you attempt to see what actions are in harmony with your essential nature, this could be an important essence. When you think that the perspective of others is more accurate than your own, you seek guidance from outside sources rather than looking within and trusting your own. This essence helps you see through the projections of others and helps you open a channel to your own inner guidance.

Intimacy with Others

Teddy Bear Cholla Cactus helps you when you do not allow others close enough to see who you really are. You may hide yourself from others because subconsciously you feel that you are lacking in some way. You may have a sense of wanting instant gratification and can be impatient with your growth process. You don't want to be in a learning stage but rather want to have already mastered something. This essence helps you allow others close and accept their appreciation for you.

Autonomy

Photo of Milky Nipple Cactus

The type of self-esteem issue that Milky Nipple Cactus works with has its roots in autonomy. It helps those who feel inadequate because they have not learned how to mother themselves. If your feel as if you need constant attention from others, this could be your essence. One key pattern of Milky Nipple Cactus is often incessant talking and/or the tendency to monopolize a conversation. Incessant talking about any subject replaces meaningful sharing of your emotions. This flower essence helps you learn to face and express your emotions. As you learn to support yourself emotionally, you learn a more mature relationship with giving and receiving emotional support and one-sided dependency can be transformed into autonomy. You develop self-esteem based upon your ability to know how to find appropriate emotional support.

Being at Peace brings Answers

Photo of Candy Barrel Cactus

You may feel insecure about yourself if you think you don't have the answers to life's challenges. Candy Barrel Cactus helps you access deep, peaceful wisdom from within. It can help you recognize the wealth of ability that is available to you when you take the time to quiet yourself and be at peace.

Unconditional Love & Support

Unconditional love and support begin within you and then radiates out to others. When you can unconditionally love yourself, problems become projects and difficulties are just challenges to be overcome. The Unconditional Love & Support Formula has deeply supported many people in finding this love right inside them.

Embracing Who You Are

When you can accept your emotions, thoughts and physical bodies as the vehicle through which you can gain wisdom and understanding, you can live a life of happiness. The Embracing Humanness Formula supports you in accepting all of your human characteristics. It is a wonderful essence for those who feel as if they don't belong on the Earth.

Selecting the Most Appropriate Flower Essences

Not every flower essence mentioned above will be appropriate for every person's specific needs. Different people have different issues around their self-esteem. The process itself of exploring and contemplating your relationship to self-esteem is important. It is the foundation for successfully selecting the most beneficial flower essences. Usually, careful self-examination can clearly show you which of the above flower essences are most appropriate for the root of your issue with self-esteem.

Though you can use more than one flower essence together, you probably will not need to use all of the ones mentioned here. After contemplating your relationship to this issue, select the flower essences that apply for you, or use an intuitive method to select among them. (For more information on how to do this, see The Art & Technique of Using Flower Essences.) A general guideline is to use four drops at a time, four times a day, in water. However, it is fine to follow your intuition and use them as often as you like. Most people find that they tend to use them more often in the beginning and less often towards the end of the cycle. Unless otherwise indicated, a cycle is usually two to four weeks. [more]

For information on how to clearly evaluate the effects of the essences you have used, see The Art & Technique of Using Flower Essences.

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Recommended Flower Essences
Embracing Humanness Formula
When you can accept your emotions, thoughts and physical bodies as the vehicle through which you can gain wisdom and understanding, you can live a life of happiness. This formula supports you in accepting all of your human characteristics. It is a wonderful essence for those who feel as if they don't belong on the Earth.
Inmortal
Inmortal is the essence that deals with the root of self-esteem issues. It is for those who have deep, and usually hidden, feelings of unworthiness. Quite often these hidden feelings are covered up with bouts of depression. Inmortal helps us wash away the darkness by giving up heavy energies to a higher force for transmutation.
Mexican Shell Flower
This flower essence is for those who run away from challenges in life or feel panic at the thought of being out in the world. This flower helps stimulate willingness and desire to actively confront life situations and people. It helps you find your inner warrior and come out of your shell.
Queen of the Night Cactus
This essence is for honoring your intuitive and psychic impressions. It is excellent for if you place a higher value on what you think, rather than allowing your intuition to be of equal worth. It is also appropriate if you focus too much on outer events and not enough on contemplation and inward looking.
Devil's Claw
Self-esteem has everything to do with the way in which you see yourself. When you have a sense of morality that guides you in taking actions of which you can be proud, you have a stronger sense of self-respect. Devil's Claw helps you develop your own natural sense of what is right and what is wrong.
Unconditional Love & Support Formula
Unconditional love and support begin within you and then radiates out to others. When you can unconditionally love yourself, problems become projects and difficulties become challenges. This flower essence has deeply supported many people in finding this love right inside.
Evening Star
Evening Star helps those who lack self-appreciation or feel that they have nothing important or special to give to the world. The essence brings confidence in your essential beauty and worth and fosters a quiet surety from the root of your being.
White Desert Primrose
This flower essence is vital for those who are overly influenced by ideals that others have created for them but do not fit their own unique soul purpose. If you think others know what is best for you, this is the essence to use. It helps you open a channel to your own inner guidance.
Teddy Bear Cholla Cactus
This essence helps you if you keep others at a distance because subconsciously you feel that you are lacking in some way. You may be impatient with your growth process, thinking that you should be more spiritually or emotionally 'advanced' than you are. This essence helps you allow intimacy with others and accept their appreciation for you.
Milky Nipple Cactus
This essence helps those who feel inadequate because they have not learned how to mother themselves.This flower essence helps you learn to face and express your emotions and offer inner emotional support. You develop self-esteem based upon your ability to know how to find appropriate emotional support.
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